Great thread — I've put a lot of time into this research over the past couple of years so let me share what's actually held up.
The landscape has changed significantly and most advice from even 18 months ago is at least partially outdated. Platforms that are still genuinely worth using tend to share a few key traits: transparent pricing, visible moderation, and user verification that goes beyond just an email address.
For the mainstream apps — Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OkCupid — the free tiers range from usable to frustrating depending heavily on your location. In major metro areas they're fine for casual use. In smaller cities or rural areas, niche platforms consistently outperform them.
For more specific needs, the dedicated niche platforms have actually gotten much better in the last year or two. The user bases are smaller but much more relevant, and moderation tends to be tighter because the communities are more invested.
My overall takeaway: platform choice matters less than most people think. Profile quality, activity level, and realistic expectations account for probably 80% of the variance in results.