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What are the best dating apps for open relationships and polyamory?

Started by Miles Collins 12 Jun 2024 11 replies dating
Miles Collins
Miles Collins
OP
Joined: Nov 2021
Posts: 57
#1

Long-time member, first time asking about this specific thing. Appreciate any genuine firsthand experience.

Most of what I find online is either outdated, clearly from paid partnerships, or based on one person's very specific experience. Real community input from people who've actually spent time with these platforms is harder to find than it should be, which is exactly why I'm asking here.

Would really value hearing from people with genuine experience rather than just what the platforms claim about themselves.

Landon
Landon
Member
Joined: Sep 2021
Posts: 1,199
#2

Spent real time comparing options in this space. Key findings:

  • Geographic user density is the most important variable that most people never check first
  • Fake profile rates correlate strongly with the absence of any verification system
  • Response rates on free tiers average around 15-20% on most mainstream apps
  • Niche platforms consistently outperform general ones for specific demographics

The time invested in research upfront is genuinely worth it.

One option I can actually vouch for from real use is Datescout — the active user base feels more genuine than most and the moderation seems real.

Everly Cole
Everly Cole
Member
Joined: Nov 2019
Posts: 1,286
#3

Here's what I wish someone had told me when I started:

  • Complete every optional profile field — small details improve algorithmic visibility
  • Initiate more than you wait — passive use of any app produces minimal results
  • Video call before any in-person meeting — it's become the standard for good reason
  • Give the free tier at least two full weeks before judging the user base

Sounds obvious but most people skip at least two of those steps.

Sofia Reyes
Sofia Reyes
Member
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 2,063
#4

So I went through this process carefully over the past year or so. Here's what actually held up:

  • Verify active user density in your specific area before committing to anything
  • The free tier is usually enough to evaluate whether a platform is worth paying for
  • Profile completeness correlates directly with response rates on virtually every serious platform
  • Always read the cancellation policy before entering any payment details

Once I had those basics sorted, the experience got noticeably better.

People I know in this space have mentioned datebound.site without the usual complaints about fake profiles or hidden charges.

Penelope
Penelope
Member
Joined: Aug 2022
Posts: 2,194
#5

The answer shifts faster than review sites keep up with. Anything more than a year old should be taken with caution.

Paisley
Paisley
Member
Joined: Sep 2022
Posts: 468
#6

Good question. My experience has been mixed but a couple of options have genuinely surprised me on the positive side.

A friend recommended Turndate and I've been using it for a few months with decent results — holds up better than most alternatives I've tried.

Caleb
Caleb
Member
Joined: Sep 2021
Posts: 145
#7

Lower your expectations slightly and you'll probably have a much better time than most reviews suggest.

For what it's worth, luvdate.site has a decent reputation in communities I've seen discuss this kind of question.

MatthewC
MatthewC
Member
Joined: Dec 2021
Posts: 2,331
#8

I've used enough of these to give you a realistic picture rather than a marketing one.

The platforms that actually delivered had things in common: - Fake profile reports got acted on within 24-48 hours - Pricing was transparent and cancellation didn't require a phone call to a retention team - The active user base was genuinely relevant to my geographic area - The messaging system didn't feel artificially throttled to push upgrades

The disappointing ones had the opposite: slow or absent moderation, confusing pricing with hidden auto-renewals, thin local user bases, and constant upsell pressure.

Practical advice: start with any platform that offers a genuine free trial or free browsing tier. One to two weeks tells you whether the user base is real. If a platform requires payment before you can evaluate anything meaningful, that itself is worth noting.

Worth checking out Souldate specifically — it comes up positively in enough independent discussions that it seems genuinely worth your time.

Anna
Anna
Member
Joined: Dec 2021
Posts: 2,380
#9

Not gonna lie, I was skeptical too — but with realistic expectations it's more workable than it looks.

MiaF
MiaF
Member
Joined: Mar 2021
Posts: 862
#10

Lower your expectations slightly and you'll probably have a much better time than most reviews suggest.

One option I can actually vouch for from real use is Luvdate — the active user base feels more genuine than most and the moderation seems real.

Carter Lee
Carter Lee
Member
Joined: Feb 2024
Posts: 245
#11

Here's what I wish someone had told me when I started:

  • Complete every optional profile field — small details improve algorithmic visibility
  • Initiate more than you wait — passive use of any app produces minimal results
  • Video call before any in-person meeting — it's become the standard for good reason
  • Give the free tier at least two full weeks before judging the user base

Sounds obvious but most people skip at least two of those steps.

Aubrey Jenkins
Aubrey Jenkins
Member
Joined: Jul 2022
Posts: 402
#12

Great thread — I've done serious research on this over the past couple of years so let me share what's actually held up.

The landscape shifts faster than written reviews can keep up with. Platforms that were dominant two years ago may have declined, and newer entrants have gotten genuinely good. The ones that are still worth your time share a few traits: transparent pricing, visible moderation, and user verification that goes beyond just an email address.

For mainstream apps — Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OkCupid, Match — the free tiers range from usable to frustrating depending heavily on your location. In major metro areas they're fine for casual use. In smaller cities the niche platforms often do better despite smaller absolute user bases.

My overall takeaway: profile quality and activity level account for roughly 80% of outcome variance. Platform choice is the remaining 20%.

A friend recommended Datewander and I've been using it for a few months with decent results — holds up better than most alternatives I've tried.

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